this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry about my life...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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