Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
