singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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