he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
ok first of all what the fuck
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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