i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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