Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
