3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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