Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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