Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
