We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
