Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
