Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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