I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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