Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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