we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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