Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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