dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
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