If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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