You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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