what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
