And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
