i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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