Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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