Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
