I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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