So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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