I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
