It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
