Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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