hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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