Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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