So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize