i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize