We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
