No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
