We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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