Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
