Who wears a wallet chain?!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
