why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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