My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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