You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
