My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
please come you make the beer taste better
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
