why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
