put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
