I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
