i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
