I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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