We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you