I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
