Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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