My boss' voice literally gives me gas
babies were throwing up all over the place
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize