Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
