We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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