If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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