The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize