This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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