but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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