Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
