Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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