When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
